Great Scott..Back to the Future...
Well,well,well, looky here folks,it is Friday once again and thankfully I am feeling far less pessimistic this week. It is difficult to pinpoint what,if anything, has really changed, but I'm not gonna worry about it,as that most likely will only fuel the fire...I prefer at this juncture to be content with coals...
Whatever.
So,what I'm saying here is I can't be bothered to examine big issues right now cos I need to focus on things that are making me semi happy. Cookies? check. Movies? check. Friends? check. School about to be over for the term? check. Bikes? check...but all three of mine are in various states of despair. Despite valiant efforts by a friend none of them is gonna be in pristine shape any time soon. The cross bike has the most hope,I'm pretty sure a quick tightening of brakes,and changing the tires to slicks is all it really needs, but not having any expendable income for the next month plus is going to make acquiringthose things difficult. The road bike...it has seen better days.My friend admonished me for riding it around in the sorry state it is in...Being the stubborn redhead that I am, I just protested my non bike mechanic saavy,and hence innocence,and looked down at the steps vs. meeting his gaze. Ok,ok, I know...I shoulda got it looked at sooner. Sheesh. I don't deny that...but,well,um...I've been thinking about a bunch of other stuff and it hasn't been my top priority. The mountain bike...hmm...I aim to ride it a bit...someday soon.
I had some good story ideas yesterday whilst lounging about my apt,and during a cookie making marathon(note:baking on small cookie trays in a small oven is a tedious task) but of course I didn't bother to write them down and now I have already mostly forgotten them.Oh well, I suppose if I ever get serious about wanting to write a story then the ideas will return.If not then perhaps it was never meant to be.(Why take action when you can just wait for your destiny to unfold?ho hum).
These thoughts are a jumble of disorginization,I'm aware, but that is the way they occur in my head. Welcome to my head, please don't mind the mess...you know, you clean up sometimes but inevitably the clothes pile up on the floor, books are littered about, the dvd remote is under the folding chair, there is no table anywhere,and somewhere in the place are those (fill in the blank) you've been looking for. You'll find it when you stop looking. You know what I mean?
I just read the latest issue of McSweeneys and was pretty thrilled with it. I don't know why I just let it sit around since it arrived but I did and now after finally getting around to it I am reminded of why I like reading so much.I have to read issue 20 now,as I let that sit around even longer, but hell I bought the thing so its not as if it was going anywhere.I have all these books checked out from the library,too, much to my chagrain I forgto to renew them and now have a hefty library fine.Don Quixote is on the winter break reading list...We'll see how that goes. I've been meaning to read it for awhile but I've been distracted.
I am trying to let bygones by bygones,with myself, and remember that the past is behind us, and the future is now..So, like a good Elvis Costello album is titled:"Get Happy!" is going to be my short term goal. I know that I have a hard time of not thinking seriously about a lot of things, about just being and taking comfort in that alone, but hell, it gets easier sometimes and taking advantage of that knowledge is key. Why we get caught up in things so much, thinking that there is some purpose, is beyond me, but I get suckered into it along with everyone else.Waking up to the reality,though not always pleasant, is a good way to get over it.
Eat,drink, and be merry? Ok. I'm on it.